Predictions for the Baseball Season

With the 2009 Major League Baseball season beginning this evening with the Atlanta Braves facing the Philadelphia Phillies, I thought it'd be a good idea to predict (and really just throw a shot in the dark) how each division race will shape out, the records of every team, who the award winners in each league will be and who'll end up as World Series champions.

Since I'm an American League kinda guy, I'll start off with the National League first.

National League East

Atlanta Braves: 92 - 70

Florida Marlins: 88 - 74

Philadelphia Phillies: 87 - 75

New York Mets: 85 - 77

Washington Nationals: 56 - 106

Although the New York Mets are the consensus pick by many to win the East, as well as the World Series, I just don't see it. Sure, they have the best pitcher on the planet in Johan Santana and an entirely revamped bullpen headed up by Frankie Rodriguez and J.J. Putz, but that's about it. Their #2 - 5 starter's are (in no particular order) Mike Pelfrey, John Maine, Oliver Perez and Livan Hernandez. Mark my words, those guys will be lucky to win 40 games combined this year.

The Phillies won the World Series last year, but what have you done for me lately? I'm not sold on their starting rotation either. Outside of staff ace Cole Hamels and Brett Myers, I don't think 95 year old Jamie Moyer, or Athletic's reject Joe Blanton can really help secure a division title anytime soon. And sorry, Chan Ho Park, but this isn't 1999, you aren't good any more. (not that you ever were).

The Florida Marlins have one of the best young rotations in baseball. Their ace is Ricky Nolasco, but he's not even their best pitcher. That would be Josh Johnson, who may one day win a Cy Young award. With the rest of their rotation containing young, yet unproven pitchers, there will be a lot of days they don't see past the 5th inning, but with a lineup built around Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla and Jorge Cantu, this is certainly a team that's up and coming.

The Atlanta Braves however, will win the National League East. You can never count out any team that has Bobby Cox as their manager. Especially when that team has completely revamped their starting rotation, by adding Derek Lowe, Javier Vazquez and Kenshin Kawakami to the front end, to compliment young starters Jair Jurrjens and JoJo Reyes. Add that to the pretty good offense the Braves have (expect a bounce back year from Jeff Francouer), and I think that'll be your National League East Champions.

National League Central

Chicago Cubs: 101 - 61

St. Louis Cardinals: 85 - 77

Milwaukee Brewers: 80 - 82

Cincinnati Reds: 79 - 83

Pittsburgh Pirates: 74 - 88

Houston Astros: 74 - 88

The National League Central is a little tough to figure out because there's so many teams that have a chance to finish 2nd. I don't see anybody challenging the Cubs. They are certainly (on paper) the best team in the National League and shouldn't face too much competition in their division. The Astros and Pirates are both going to be fighting for last place, simply because there isn't a lot of talent between the two teams, period. The Reds, while sporting a pretty good offense, still have a lot of question marks in their starting rotation (but, expect huge years from First Baseman Joey Votto and Pitcher Aaron Harang). The Brewers will look to somehow replace the losses of Ben Sheets and CC Sabathia, which will be hard to do. Yovani Gallardo is a great, young pitcher, but even contributions from him, as well as offense from Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder will not be enough to do much in the wins column. The St. Louis Cardinals are certainly an enigma. They have one of the best players on the planet in Albert Pujols. They have a supporting cast which includes Ryan Ludwick and Rick Ankiel, both men who will hit 25+ homers. And they have a stud rookie outfielder named Colby Rasmus who can hit anything under the sun. But, much like every other team in this division. They lack pitching. Having a (questionably?) healthy Chris Carpenter will certainly improve this team drastically, but I just don't see them challenging the Cubs that much.

The Cubs, are terrific. They have an offense that boasts superstars such as Alfonso Soriano, Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez. Their starting rotation, is out of this world. Carlos Zambrano, Ryan Dempster, Rich Harden and Ted Lilly is the best 1 - 4 of any team in baseball. They will he hard pressed to beat on any given day and I certainly see the Cubs having a tremendous season.

National League West

Los Angeles Dodgers: 100 - 62

San Francisco Giants: 94 - 68

Colorado Rockies: 86 - 76

Arizona Diamondbacks: 75 - 87

San Diego Padres: 72 - 90

Let's look at this realistically, the Padres are going to be bad. They are going to be monumentally bad. They would be the worst team in the National League if the Washington Nationals didn't exist. Outside of Jake Peavy (who will be traded sooner rather than later) and Adrian Gonzalez, they have no talent.

The Colorado Rockies traded away their best player, Matt Holliday, to Oakland during the offseason. Things aren't looking too bright for the Rockies. They have a decent offense centered around Garrett Atkins, Brad Hawpe and aging veteran Todd Helton. They've got a pretty good bullpen, having two closers (Huston Street and Manny Corpas), but they leave a lot to be desired in their starting rotation. Outside of Aaron Cook and Ubaldo Jimenez, they're going to need somebody else to step up if they want to compete.

The San Francisco Giants are getting considerably better. With a starting rotation boasting young stud Tim Lincecum, as well as Matt Cain and veteran lefty Randy Johnson, I think the Giants can surprise a lot of people. With veteran leadership on the diamond in Edgar Renteria, Bengie Molina, Aaron Rowand and Randy Winn, it wouldn't surprise me one bit to see the Giants sneak up to the 90 win mark. That being said, they will still finish behind the Dodgers.

I don't care what names you put in your starting lineup, when the top 2 pitchers in your rotation are as good as Brandon Webb and Dan Haren, you're going to win some games. Throw in bounceback years off either injury or disappointment from Doug Davis and Jon Garland, you've got yourself a good rotation.

With Manny Ramirez, the Los Angeles Dodgers offense can outslug any team, on any given day. Without Manny Ramirez, they're a third place team. Let Manny be Manny. I don't care if he drops 3 balls a game, takes a bathroom break in the middle of the fourth inning on a sunny Tuesday afternoon or throws sunflower seeds at homeless people during the 7th inning stretch. Mark him down for .325, 43 home runs and 125 runs batted in. And give him a supporting cast of Rafael Furcal, James Loney, Matt Kemp, Russell Martin and Andre Ethier, you're scoring 5 runs a game easily. The only thing keeping the Dodgers from being a World Series favorite is their pitching staff. Not only is their shaky bullpen being handled by career bullpen killer Joe Torre, but their starting rotation has a bunch of young arms after "ace" Randy Wolf. Young arms and Joe Torre would be the scariest combination for any human being to comprehend, once Dusty Baker retires. (sidenote: are their any two worse managers for young arms than Dusty Baker and Joe Torre? I swear Baker is going to have one of his pitchers throw 180 pitches in 4 innings one day and I won't be surprised. And Joe Torre loses faith in anybody under 35 quicker than an Athiest loses faith in God)

National League Most Valuable Player: Albert Pujols; he'll hit at least .330 with around 38 home runs and 130 runs batted in. You can count on that

National League Cy Young Winner: It's Tim Lincecum's world and we're all just going to be living in it for the 2nd year in a row. He'll take this award in a landslide and have a record of 22 - 8 with a 2.45 ERA and 230 strikeouts.

National League Rookie of the Year: He's yet to be called up by the Nationals yet, but Jordan Zimmerman is the best rookie in the world right now. He'll win 12 games and have a sub 4 era and will easily win this award. (sidenote: if Stephen Strasburg had been drafted yet, I'd have chosen him, but because he hasn't been drafted till June, I didn't. But, realize, he will be in the Nationals rotation by September)

American League East

New York Yankees: 99 - 63

Boston Red Sox: 97 - 65

Tampa Bay Rays: 89 - 73

Toronto Blue Jays: 81 - 81

Baltimore Orioles: 75 - 87

I can sum up the seasons for the Blue Jays and Orioles really easily. You guys don't matter. You won't matter. You won't factor into the discussion of the division for the entire season. If by some miracle either the Jays or Orioles finish in the top 2 of this division, I will personally get a Tattoo of their respective mascot on my butt. That's how positive I am they will finish in 4th and 5th place. End of discussion.

I'm not allowing my Yankee love bias or influence my decision on picking the Yankees to finish in first or the Red Sox to finish in second. I based it purely on talent and the Yankees clearly have more talent than Boston. I will not be clouded by the additions of Brad Penny, John Smoltz and lifetime Disabled List veteran Rocco Baldelli. The Red Sox have a lineup that consists of the reigning MVP Dustin Pedroia and All-Star first baseman Kevin Youkilis. Mike Lowell is a shell of his former self and is currently eroding away at third base before our very eyes. David Ortiz's bum wrist is not healed and until he can actually drive the ball with any sort of power (you didn't do it during spring training Papi) I don't think he's a threat. As Scott Boras so eloquently said during the off season, "Jason Varitek doesn't catch a pitching staff, he teaches a pitching staff". Yea, right. You can teach them right to the get away car, because you robbed Boston of some cash and a starting job with that ridiculous contract they actually gave you. You're terrible and you're still their catcher. Mind boggling. Jon Lester is their best pitcher and he's the only Red Sox pitcher that actually frightens me. He's stuff is just plain filthy. Daisuke Matsuzaka's jig is up. Loading the bases and going 3 - 2 on every batter isn't going to fly much longer. Say hello to mediocrity Boston Fans. It's Hideki Irabu light! Their bullpen is lights out with Jonathan "I river dance when I get a meaningless save in April" Papelbon. But, that isn't enough to dethrone the Yankees this year.

The Rays have the best young team in baseball with the best third baseman in the American League in Evan Longoria, as well as All-Star first baseman Carlos Pena, to go along with absurdly fast outfielders Carl Crawford and BJ Upton. They are going to be a good team for at least another decade. Add in Pat Burrell to replace Cliff Floyd and you've got yourself a great team, yet again. Simply tremendous.

But, when you've got the unlimited spending minds of the Steinbrenner's you will never let yourself be outdone. Spending nearly $450 million on the additions of AJ Burnett, Mark Teixeira and CC Sabathia to replace Jason Giambi, Bobby Abreu and Mike Mussina and I think you've done a great job. The depth the Yankees boast on their bench and in their starting rotation is astounding. Having Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy sitting in wait in the minor leagues, in case of injury or inconsistency (this is you Joba) and you're looking at a great team. But, with every great team comes question marks. And, with the Yankees out question marks lie in the bullpen. Outside of Mariano Rivera and Brian Bruney, there's not one person in that pen that I trust to throw 1 strike, let alone get 1 out. Jose Veras, Edwar Ramirez and Damaso Marte aren't the answer. Veras and Edwar are fat too inconsistent and have iffy control. Damaso Marte can't get out righties. He can't get out lefties. And we gave him $12 million dollars. Lovely. We need some help in the bullpen. Thankfully, our minor league system is chock full of them. By mid-June you'll be well acquainted with the name Mark Melancon. Trust me.

American League Central

Cleveland Indians: 88 - 74

Kansas City Royals: 84 - 78

Minnesota Twins: 82 - 80

Chicago White Sox: 79 - 83

Detroit Tigers: 76 - 86

This division is incredibly hard to determine. There are no clear cut "great" teams. Each team is pretty good in their own right. Because of that, I don't see any team winning 90 games. It's just too close for one team to really just jump ahead of the others and take control. The Tigers have a tremendous offense with reigning home run champion Miguel Cabrera, Magglio Ordonez, Curtis Granderson and Placido Polanco. But, their rotation is filled with a bunch of erratic pitchers who can never really find "it" (See: Jackson, Edwin and Miner, Zach), as well as a man who once had "it", but hasn't been able to find it for nearly 3 years (See: Verlander, Justin) and two young studs (See: Galaragga, Armando and Porcello Rick). Top that off with a closer who is terrible (Cue Brandon Lyon or Fernando Rodney) and you've got a team that won't win the division.

The Chicago White Sox are in a similar situation as the Tigers. Their offense is centered around Jim Thome, Paul Konerko, Jermaine Dye, Carlos Quentin and Alexei Ramirez. That's a pretty good mix of power, speed and talent. But, once again, a great lineup with a lot of questions surrounding the pitching staff. Can Mark Buehrle regain his old all-star caliber form? Is John Danks ready to take the next step to dominance? Is Bartolo Colon hungry enough? (I meant hungry on the mound, not if he's looking for dinner. We always know that he's craving chocolate). With questions such as those surrounding your team, it's hard to buy into them as a contender.

The Minnesota Twins are on the complete other side of the spectrum compared to the Tigers and White Sox. They have a great set of pitchers headed by staff ace Francisco Liriano (fresh off Tommy John Surgery), with Scott Baker, Kevin Slowey and Glen Perkins mixed in. Having an all-star closer in Joe Nathan at the back of the pen and you've got yourself set up for a lot of games in which you only allow 2 or 3 runs. Problem is, you'll be lucky to score 3 or 4 runs to win the game. Their offense is putrid. Yes, putrid. Vocab word of the day. Basically, that means they're awful offensively. Joe Mauer is hurt with a bad back and as a catcher, you pretty much need to be able to bend over in order to play and there's no telling when or if he'll be able to return to effectiveness. Outside of Justin Morneau and Michael Cuddyer, there's no pop in the lineup at all. They sport the best defensive centerfielder in the American League, but he can't hit a lick. You can't win when half your team is batting around .240.

The Kansas City Royals are going to be the biggest surprise in baseball this year. They could very well be this years Tampa Bay Ray's. I have that much confidence in Trey Hillman's ability to lead and inspire his players to go at it hard every day. They've got a better lineup than you think. The addition of Coco Crisp will certainly help defensively and it allows David DeJesus to shift over to left field, where he's better suited. The trade that brought Mike Jacobs over will add some serious pop to their lineup to combine with the hopeful emergence of Alex Gordon, will blend in a nice array of speed, power and contact hitters in the Royals lineup. But, on the pitching side is where I really like Kansas City. They have one of the best closers you've never heard of in Joakim Soria. The presence he has on the mound is Mariano Rivera-esque. Just an absolute aura about him every time he enters a game. Gil Meche is going to prove he's worth the $55 million that the Royals gave him a few years ago. And Zach Greinke is ready to absolutely have a break out year and will finish in the top 5 in the Cy Young voting and may very well win it. While I don't think the Royals will win the division, I think they'll be hanging around all season long and if given the right luck, they could very well make a run for it.

The Cleveland Indians are going to win this division. They've got the best mixture of offense and pitching of any team in this division. The addition of new closer Kerry Wood to go along with set-up men Rafael Perez and Rafael Betancourt gives the Indians a shut down bullpen and shortens most games to just a 6 inning affair for their starters. Given they have the reigning Cy Young winner in Cliff Lee, to go along with Fausto Carmona, Anthony Reyes, Aaron Laffey and the American Idle himself Carl Pavano, they've got a pretty decent starting rotation. Lee and Carmona are obviously the staples of that rotation, with the youth of Cardinals cast off Reyes and Indians farmhand Laffey are welcomed to their team. I expect Pavano to have a tremendous year, just for the sheer fact he's finally healthy and finally out of the pressures and hatred of New York. Focusing your lineup around 30 homer / 30 stolen base man Grady Sizemore, as well as new comer Mark Derosa and banking on the hopefulness of Victor Martinez and Travis Hafner returning from injury surely make the Indians the favorite's in this division.

American League West

Texas Rangers: 93 - 69

Seattle Mariners: 85 - 77

Anaheim Angels: 81 - 81

Oakland Athletics: 73 - 89

I realize I look rather crazy for the predictions I have in the AL West. But, hear me out here. The Athletics, even though they added Matt Holliday, Jason Giambi, Nomar Garciapara and Orlando Cabrera to their offense, are relying solely on starting pitchers that can't legally rent a car. Not only are they young pitchers, but they aren't even highly touted prospects. They think they can go to battle with a starting rotation full of names such as Dallas Braden, Trevor Cahill and Josh Outman. Sorry, but I don't think Josh is necessarily going to be the "out man". (Corny joke, I know)

Anaheim is usually a lock to at least win the American League West, but coming into the season with major injuries to their top 3 starting pitchers (Ervin Santana, John Lackey and Kelvim Escobar) and losing the bat of Mark Teixeira in their lineup and having to rely on the bat and glove of mediocre Kendry Morales is asking a lot of the team. Granted, they did add Bobby Abreu to their gluttony of outfielders, but replacing Francisco Rodriguez with Brian Fuentes is certainly a downgrade. That being said, I don't think this is the Angels year. But, here's hoping for a great season from Nick Adenhart, my fantasy team would really appreciate it.

The Seattle Mariners are one of those teams that will be a lot better than many people think. Their success will rely largely on the shoulders of Felix Hernandez and Erik Bedard. If they both have the types of seasons that they are expected to (and capable) of having, then the Mariners will win a bunch of games in a rather weak division.

The Texas Rangers have a great offense. That's an absolute given. Add a full season from Nelson Cruz (37 homers in the minors last year) and a complete season from Chris Davis (an absolute power machine) to the likes of Josh Hamilton and Michael Young, and an already potent lineup just got more dangerous. If they are able to get anything out of Andruw Jones, that'd be short of a miracle. But, with the pitching likes of Kevin Millwood, Vicente Padilla and Kris Benson, they could win their fair share of 7 -5 ball games. With pitching coach Mike Maddux (from what I hear an absolute pitching genius, go figure) tinkering with their deliveries and mechanics, it could be a smoldering summer down in Arlington for the Rangers.

American League Most Valuable Player: Miguel Cabrera; even though I picked his team to finish in dead last, I think he's going to put up monster numbers in the .340, 42 and 140 range. Which would make it really hard to go against his numbers, even if he's in last place.

American League Cy Young Winner: My gut tells me to go with Zach Greinke here, but my heart is telling me to go with Roy Halladay. After seeing him dominate the Yankees on at least four occasions last season, I can't go against the guy. He'll rattle off a season in the range of 20 - 10 with a 2.65 ERA.

American League Rookie of the Year: Ricky Romero; watch this kid pitch on the Blue Jays and you will certainly be impressed. It wouldn't surprise me if he won 14 games for Toronto, one bit. And given the lack of rookies in the American League and the fact Baltimore isn't likely to call up Matt Wieters until June (if you don't know that name, you will. Think Pudge Rodriguez's defensive skills with Mike Piazza's bat), Romero should win this award uncontested.

Now that we've gotten the division records and awards in each league taken care of, let's talk about the playoffs. (to quote Jim Mora, "playoffs? you wanna talk about playoffs? playoffs?")

In the American League Division Series I've got:

Yankees over Indians in 4

Red Sox over Rangers in 3

In the National League Division Series, I have:

Cubs over Giants in 5

Dodgers over Braves in 4

In the American League Championship Series:

Yankees over Red Sox in 7

In the National League Championship Series:

Cubs over Dodgers in 6

In the World Series:

Cubs over Yankees in 6

There you have it. Before the first game is played, I've predicted the records of each team, the winners of the major awards and who wins in the playoffs. After a period lasting over 100 years, the Chicago Cubs will finally win the World Series and eliminate the Billy Goat curse and the Bartman curse. But, for the Yankees, it'll be the 9th year without a World Series Title and the Curse of A-Rod lives on.

Am I right? Only time will tell

Until then...

The Decline of #2

I know, I know, you're reading that title and thinking "what is this crazy lunatic talking about"? Well, hear me out. I hate to be the one to break this to you (All 4 of you. Yes, we've picked up a reader! Exciting, I know), but Derek Jeter, short stop and Captain of the New York Yankees, is declining. the decline really began two years ago, and it's progressing quicker than Oprah through a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

I'm not kidding. It's the same Derek Jeter that is the 9 time all-star, 3 time silver slugger, 3 time gold glove winner and 6 time top-1o finisher in the MVP voting. He'll also undoubtedly be 3,000 hit Derek Jeter, 500 career doubles Derek Jeter and future first ballot Hall of Famer, Derek Jeter.

You know him as the individual who has been the #2 hitter in the Yankees lineup for much of the past 5,054 days that he's been their starting short stop. But, with each passing year, we get a little older, our reflexes get slower, our timing diminishes by just a tick, we do, what every individual does; we age. And, in the case of Derek Jeter, he's no longer the wide eyed 21 year old rookie that was as thin as ihs bat and carried a franchise on his back for the past 13 years.

That young, highly touted prospect has turned into a seasoned veteran. One of the last remaining members of the old Yankee dynasty (with Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera and Andy Pettitte), hoping to stick around long enough to usher in the next Yankee dynasty with open arms and a passing of the torch.

14 years ago Don Mattingly retired and passed the torch of the Yankee culture onto a young, unproven, untested, rookie. At that time, nobody knew it. Derek Jeter wasn't supposed to be given an opportunity. (Thank you, Tony Fernandez, for breaking your arm during Spring Training in 1996, we're sending you a fruit basket that's a decade and a half overdo) But, he got that opportunity and did he ever run with it. Rookie of the year award, 4 World Series titles and becoming the face of the greatest franchise in all of sports.

Where were you in the 2001 postseason? Where were you when Derek Jeter made his infamous "flip" play to save the Yankees season in Game 3 of the 2001 ALDS against the Oakland Athletics?

I'll paint a picture for you. It's the 7th inning, there are 2 outs and a runner on first base. The Yankees are clinging to a 1 - 0 lead. Athletics left fielder Terrence Long is at the plate and he promptly rips a liner down the right field line off of Mike Mussina. Yankees right fielder Shane Spencer digs the ball out of the corner and makes an errant throw, overthrowing cutoff man Tino Martinez. As base-runner Jeremy Giambi rounds third base and heads for home, it seemed as if the Athletics would surely tie the game. But, just as he had done in 1996, coming out of nowhere to become a superstar, Derek Jeter came out of nowhere to grab the ball and flip it to Jorge Posada who tagged Giambi on the leg just milliseconds before he was able to step on the plate and score.

"That is fair, down the right field line. Giambi on his way to third, and they're gonna wave him around! The throw misses the cutoff man - shovel to the plate! Out at the plate! Derek Jeter with one of the most unbelievable plays you will ever see by a shortstop!"

-Thom Brennaman

Where were you just two weeks later when Derek Jeter became Mr. November? All of the truly great and memorable moments in Yankee lure over the past decade have predominantly involved the faithful Captain. But, over the past few years, things have been changing. As the playoff hopes dwindled, the teams' struggles lasting longer, there has been turmoil, controversy and frustration with players and fans alike. The one constant, Derek Jeter, is ever so slowly becoming a shell of his former self.

Don't believe me? Well, I'll put my money where my mouth is. Derek Jeter is 34 years old, he doesn't turn 35 until the end of June. Below is what he has done over the past three years of play (ages 32, 33 and 34), you'll notice a little trend.

Age 32: 159 games played, .343 batting average, 56 extra base hits, 97 runs batted in, 34 stolen bases in 39 attempts, 69 walks, a .417 on base percentage and 13 double plays grounded into.

Age 33: 156 games played, .322 batting average, 55 extra base hits, 83 runs batted in, 15 stolen bases in 23 attempts, 56 walks, a .388 on base percentage and 21 double plays grounded into.

Age 34: 150 games played, .300 batting average, 39 extra base hits, 69 runs batted in, 11 stolen bases in 16 attempts, 52 walks, a .363 on base percentage and 24 double plays grounded into.

What does this tell you? From looking at just the numbers, his batting average has steadily been declining over the past three years. Some will attribute this to his constant playing with injuries, which is very true. But, it also shows that while he still plays 90% of his teams games, playing with nagging injuries has significantly affected his overall performance. The drastic decline in his extra base hit numbers over the past year, shows his inability to drive the ball with as much force as he used to.

The number of double plays he's hit into has moderately risen over the past few years as well (which is why he's been shifted into the leadoff role in the Yankees batting order), which shows that he isn't lifting the ball as he has done in the past, all signs that point towards decline in bat speed and ability to turn over the wrists quick enough to drive the ball with enough force to hit it over the infielders head.

Doing a little research, I discovered that the two individuals whom Derek Jeter's career most resembles are former Chicago Cubs second baseman Ryne Sandberg and former Cleveland Indians second baseman Roberto Alomar. I studied the seasons that Sandberg and Alomar had at ages 32 and 33 respectively, and then the average season each had from age 34 until retirement. They, too, suffered the same sort of decline that Jeter seems to be headed towards. Don't believe me? Let the numbers speak for themselves:

Ryne Sandberg age 32: 158 games played, .304 batting average, 66 extra base hits, 87 runs batted in, 17 stolen bases in 23 attempts, 68 walks and a .371 on base percentage.

Ryne Sandberg age 33: 117 games played, .309 batting average, 29 extra base hits, 45 runs batted in, 9 stolen bases in 11 attempts, 37 walks and a .350 on base percentage.

Ryne Sandberg's average season ages 34 - 37: Averaged 85 games played per season, with a .250 batting average, 28 extra baes hits, 45 runs batted in, 5 stolen bases in 8 attempts, 26 walks and a .312 on base percentage.

Roberto Alomar age 32: 155 games played, .310 batting average, 61 extra base hits, 89 runs batted in, 39 stolen bases in 43 attempts, 64 walks and a .378 on base percentage.

Roberto Alomar age 33: 157 games played, .336 batting average, 66 extra base hits, 100 runs batted in, 30 stolen bases in 36 attempts, 80 walks and a .415 on base percentage.

Roberto Alomar's average season ages 34 - 36: Averaged 115 games played, .262 batting average, 27 extra base hits, 39 runs batted in, 9 stolen bases in 12 attempts, 43 walks and a .328 on base percentage.

The similarities are obviously there. After the age of 33, Ryne Sandberg spent more time in the trainer's room than he did on the playing field, being decimated with injuries and his career numbers dwindling to the point of mediocrity. The same can be said for Roberto Alomar as well. Although he had arguably his best statistical season at the age of 33, the following year and subequent years thereafter, he was a shell of his former self and became nothing more than a part-time player, in the twilight of his career.

Now, I'm not saying that Derek Jeter is going to bat .248 this season and hit 4 home runs before he decides to hang up the cleats in mid-July. He could very easily hit .300 and post numbers very close to what the back of his baseball card dictates. All I am saying is that the framework for decline has been laid and seems to have started over the past few seasons and it's going to continue happening, much sooner, rather than later.

But, I am not surprised in the least bit. The reason Jeter's decline and eventual move to mediocrity is largely because he is a victim of playing the game the right way. THIS IS WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU'RE 35! Players aren't meant to hit 45 home runs after the age of 40 (We're lokoing at you Bonds), or have sub 2.00 era's and win Cy Young awards (Hello, Mr. Clemens).

In the old days, before the steroid era began, when a player entered their mid-30's, they began the twilight of their career. This is when their skill sets diminished, their numbers faded and they eventually sailed off into the sunset. That's what is beginning to happen to Derek Jeter. Will he play another 5 or 6 years? It's almost a certainty. But, will he play up to the level he did 3 or even 4 years ago? Not a chance. It just doesn't happen naturally. You've been seeing it with Ken Griffey Junior for the past 5 years. Our superhero stars of the mid-90's, are ever so slowly getting ready to hang up their capes and become mere mortals.

I don't know when the transformation of Derek Jeter from the superstar face of the New York Yankees to the next number retired and enshrined in monument park will be. But, I do know that it's going to happen. And it's going to happen a lot sooner than any of us think. Here's hoping we can get the Captain one or two more titles before he decides to lead the Yankees onto the field for the last time.

They say that baseball is a young man's game. It seems that we're headed in that direction again...

East Coast Bias

For as long as I can remember, the term "East Coast Bias" is constantly referred to by individuals who follow West Coast teams, or mainly any team that isn't the Yankees or Red Sox. ESPN is chastised for showing a large number of Yankee or Red Sox games, or even New England Patriot Football games, all because of their supposed "East Coast Bias."

Frankly, I've grown sick and tired of hearing individuals bicker over the fact that their West Coast teams aren't given enough credibility or air time and it's all some sort of media conspiracy to shove East Coast teams down their throats. If the fact that the West Coast is 3 hours behind the rest of the World and the sporting world's biggest media outlet (ESPN) is located in Connecticut, isn't enough for you, let me say this once and for all, to make it extremely clear:

If the West Coast teams actually WON something, they'd be talked about more.

Seriously, if the West Coast could actually win a major sports championship, they'd be talked about more. But, what have you done for me lately West Coast? It seems you do a lot of whining, a lot of complaining and not enough follow through. Since you've all realized by now that I absolutely love statistics, let me further illustrate the fact that there exists only the illusion of an East Coast bias, because the West Coast hasn't really proven they deserve the air time in any sport.

In football, the last time a team from somewhear near the West Coast won the Super Bowl was the 1999 Denver Broncos. The last time a true West Coast team won the Super Bowl was 1995 and the San Francisco 49ers. In fact, if you want to know the last West Coast team not named the 49ers to actually win the Super Bowl, you'll have to travel back all the way to 1984 and the Los Angeles Raiders.

For basketball, the last time a West Coast team own the NBA Championship was 2002 and the Los Angeles Lakers. Aside from the Lakers three-peat at the turn of the Century (2000 - 2002), the sport has largely been dominated by teams from the Central Time Zone over the past two decades. Of the past twenty NBA Champions, 9 have come from the Midwest (Bulls 6, Pistons 3), 7 have come from the South (Spurs 4, Rockets 2, Heat 1), 3 have come from the West (Lakers) and only 1 has come from the East Coast (Celtics). The last time the West Coast held any superiority in basketball was the 1980's, when the Los Angeles Lakers won 5 NBA titles and played in 8 NBA Finals. You can't even really argue that there's any bias towards East Coast teams in basketball, since the Midwest has dominated the sport for the past twenty years.

The last time a West Coast team won a World Series in baseball was the Anaheim Angels of 2002. Besides that and the Arizona Diamondbacks improbable World Series run in 2001, the last occasion that a team out West was crowned World Series Champion, were the 1989 Oakland Athletics.

And lastly, hockey. I know, it's not really America's most time honored sport, but hear me out. The last (and truly only) time a team from the West Coast won the Stanley Cup was in 2007 and the Anaheim Ducks. Aside from that and two Stanley Cups from the Colorado Avalanche (1996 and 2001), no other team from the West Coast has ever won the Stanley Cup.

Now I understand why hockey is largely thought to be a Canadian sport, considering teams from Canada have won the Stanley Cup 40 out of 81 times (but not since 1993), which means that of the first 65 Stanley Cup Champions crowned, 60% came from our neighbor to the North.

Sure there is parody in sports with mid-market teams winning Championships and being competitive with the cash-cow franchises in every sport, but one thing that hasn't changed over the past two decades in nearly every major sport is the West Coasts inferiority compared to their East Coast counterparts.

Obviously this won't change anything. People will still bicker over the fact ESPN televises more Yankee and Red Sox games in primetime than they do San Diego Padres and Seattle Mariners, or the fact the New York Giants or New England Patriots play in more Monday Night Football games than the Oakland Raiders. But, that's the way it is. And that's the way it's going to stay until the West Coast does something to show that they are worthy of more widespread exposure.

Kudos to ESPN for reporting about the teams that actually matter and not giving into the backlash for supposedly showing bias. I look forward to watching a half dozen Yankees - Red Sox games in primetime and only reading about what happens on the other side of the country.

Maybe in 10 years this will all be a moot point and I'll be complaining of a West Coast bias, but until those Westerners start piling up championships, it won't be happening any time soon.

It's Getting To Be That Time

The title to this blog post would've been "Spring is in the air", but if you walked outside today and felt the 30mph wind gusts which made the temperature feel in the mid-20's, you'd know that I was lying to you. There are a lot of things I am (cheap, sarcastic, stubborn) but a liar is not one. (Alright mom, I know you're going to bring up the time that I wrote on the wall and blamed it on the dog. I was 10, get over it.)

Using the term "spring is in the air" is obviously not going to be the correct course of action just yet, until the temperatures rise and the mound of ice on our front lawn melts sometime around Memorial Day. But, I'll give you a few sure fire signs that the dead of Winter is behind us and the warming iridescence of Spring is bursting onto the scene.

We are just getting past the toughest part of the Winter, where ever day seems like it's the Billy Murray movie Groundhog's Day. This time period began the Day after the NFL Conference Championship games ended on January 19th. (go figure my birthday is the day after the most boring time of the year begins. Thanks Mom and Dad) and it did not end until last Thursday on March 19th.

Why is this you're probably thinking? It's for the simple fact that nothing happens in those 7 and a half weeks outside of a few events. I'll give you a brief synopsis of what major yearly events happened in sports during this time:

January 25th - NHL All Star Game sees the Eastern Conference defeat the Western Conference 12 - 11 in a shootout. (you forgot they still played hockey didn't you?)

February 1st - Super Bowl XLIII: Pittsburgh Steelers defeat Arizona Cardinals 27 - 23 (Thanks a lot for losing that game and costing me a ton of money Arizona. I should've taken the points. I'm not bitter I swear to god)

February 8th - NFL Pro Bowl: NFC 30 - AFC 21 (I didn't watch and neither did you, don't even kid yourself)

February 14th - NBA Slam Dunk Contest: "KryptoNate" Nate Robinson defeats Dwight Howard in the finals (It's the ghetto Mugsey Bogues ladies and gentleman!)

February 15th - NBA All Star Game: Western Conference 146 - Eastern Conference 119 (Shaquille O'neal and Kobe Bryant win Co-MVP and the rest of America joins hands and sings "We are the World"....Alright, that last part didn't happen, but the first part shouldn't have either)

That's it. That's ALL that happened. I'm not kidding. Outside of those events (if you can even call the All Star Games events worth watching) nothing else went on, which is why the lead story on Sportscenter dealt with Alex Rodriguez 98% of the time. (he likes hookers, we get it. I for one, am happy to hear that news. I still thought he was gay)

But, this is how you know on March 19th we officially got out of our sporting funk and are moving onto bigger and brighter days. For the next three weeks, we get to be excited, on the edge of our seats for College Basketball's March Madness. Once that ends on April 6th, guess what? That's when opening day for Major League Baseball is!

Four days later on April 9th, bust out your green jackets, because it's time for the Masters on the PGA Tour. (Tiger Woods is back, there's reason to watch) And guess what else? The day that the Final Round of the Masters is, coincides with the last day of the NHL regular season (some people actually care about this, I'm not kidding).

On April 15th, when the NHL playoffs have just begun (don't forget to file your taxes), that's the final day of the NBA's regular season. And a week into the playoffs for both the NBA and NHL you get the excitement of the NFL Draft on April 25th and 26th.

This is every sports fans favorite time of the Year. If the day after Thanksgiving is considered to be "Black Friday", then consider the day after the NFL Conference Championships to be "Melancholy Monday" because it puts every sports fan (alright probably just me, but you're reading this, so you're mixed into this somehow by proxy) into a daily tailspin of craving something more.

Well, crave no more. The time is finally here. Suddenly you can hear the birds chirping and the taste of a spring dew on your lips when you walk outside in the morning. Your life just begins to brighten up a little. That's how I feel right now.

Crack open a cold one and kick back and relax in front of the television, because we're about to embark on a great ride. Let's call it the "Ride to Summer". This is a sports enthusiasts version of the Christmas Season.

Well, let me be the first to say Season's Greetings...

What I've learned...

I was talking to a friend last night and she was joking around with me saying that sports will always come before her in my life. But, that notion got me to thinking. Exactly how much of my life do I dedicate to sports; whether it be watching them, reading about them, or engraining myself with the very thought of discussing them?

Do I really put a game before my family and relationships with friends? The answer, disappointingly, is yes. Many times in the past I have broken off an evening with friends so I could sit back and watch a baseball game. I can't begin to tell you the times family members have tried to have a conversation with me, only to be spurned with remarks of "not now, I'm trying to watch this" or "do you have to talk to me while this is on?"

I don't know when it happened that sports became the main focal point of my existence, but, over the course of the past few years, with the decisions and mistakes I've made in life, the game has somehow moved to the forefront of who I am. I'm not trying to make excuses for my actions or use my blog as a forum to dodge the fact that somewhere along the way, I've allowed myself at times to be a poor friend, I'm merely trying to turn a negative flaw I've found in myself into a positive learning experience.

Over the course of time, through all the failed relationships, fights with friends, good days and bad nights, I've found myself turning to sports. The game has always been the one positive I can find through the layers of negativity I bring about in my life. Some people turn to alcohol, others turn to drugs, I turn to ESPN. It never mattered to me what sport it was, whether it be baseball, football, or even soccer.

If I'm having a bad day, I just have to turn a game on. Then, for 9 innings or 4 quarters, I let myself escape. For those 3 hours, I have no problems or concerns; it's just me and the game. It's the avenue I take to escape all of the little stressors that way us down as individuals.

I know I'm not the only one who turns to sports as a way of escaping. Athletes have been known to do it as well. The best example I can think of is Brett Favre. On December 22, 2003, the day after his father died, Brett decided to play on Monday Night Football against the Raiders. Despite his grief, for those 3 hours, Brett played. And he was magnificent, throwing for 399 yards and 4 touchdowns.

I know what little annoyances I face in my life are nowhere near the magnitude of the pain and hurt that Bret felt on that day, but, it makes me feel a little better knowing that I'm not alone. I guess that's why I love sports so much. It provides me an avenue to escape the reality of most situations and lose myself in the game. The worries of every day life cease to exist for a little while. Suddenly getting that crucial first down becomes your biggest concern and you forget about all your problems.

It's probably why I've found myself turning the games on more lately and tuning other people out. Whether it's an old friend trying to grab a drink to catch up, or a family member just asking
me how my day was, I haven't let myself be bothered. I've turned a blind eye to those that have my best interests at heart and only wish to see me happy, yet still continue to support me, because I've concerned myself too much with trying to escape.

My friend was right. I have put sports ahead of friends and family; and at times, even my own self. That's not the way it should be. I love sports, don't get me wrong, but it's a mistake to think that I can block everything else in my life, good or bad, out, just to let myself escape from my problems. It's not the way anyone should handle things or live their life. Sports will always be a major part of my life, but I'm not going to let it consume who I am any longer. It's about time I get my priorities straight and realize what's important.

Working in sports is something that I've always dreamt of doing. It's a goal that I set for myself to accomplish one day. It's still a dream I hope to achieve and one I will do anything in order to fulfill. I don't know if I'll ever reach that day in my lifetime, but I know that I'll always have the unwavering support of friends and family as I strive to make my dreams a reality.

It is because of that support that I'm able to admit my faults and can say I'm sorry. So, I'm sorry to those friends that I've blown off to catch a game, or the family members I've ignored because I couldn't be bothered for 2 minutes. I'm sorry that I haven't been there 100% and have allowed myself to get wrapped up in escaping the realities of every situation. I'm sorry to you all that I've ever forced to take a backseat in my life to a sporting event. I need to remember that sports are what I love, not who I am. They should not define the type of person I am, or the type of life I lead.

I hope that no one else makes the same errors in judgment that I have made in the past. Spend time with the one's you love and finish the conversations you start. The game will always be there tomorrow. As I said before, I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm simply trying to use this as a learning experience. Learn from my experience.

Until next time...

Elite 8, Final Four, National Title and Some After Thoughts

In case you've been living under a rock somewhere over the past couple days, we're in the thick of the "Tournament of 65: Mascot Melee" and we're down to the Elite 8: Wake Forest Demon Deacons, Michigan State Spartans, Purdue Boilermakers, Memphis Tigers, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Duke Blue Devils, LSU Tigers and Arizona State Sun Devils.

The first National Quarter-Final game for the Mascot Melee comes out of the Midwest Region and pits the Wake Forest Demon Deacons against the Spartans of Michigan State. Wake Forest has looked impressive throughout the duration of this tournament rolling over opponents one after another in amazing fashion. However, this would not be the Demon Deacons day. The mighty Spartans came for a fight and they brought the fight right to Wake Forest. From the very beginning the Spartans hit Wake with shot after shot in a relentless attack of technique and precision. And when it was all said and done, only one remained standing and it was the Spartans heading to the Final Four out of the Midwest Region.

In the Western Region, the National Quarter-Final sees the Purdue Boilermakers face off with the Memphis Tigers. The Boilermakers are coming off an impressive win over the BYU Cougars, while Memphis had an absolute fracas with the Tigers of Missouri. Purdue attempted to make quick work of Memphis in the same fashion they took care of BYU, but it didn't work out the way the Boilermakers wanted. The Tigers were weary of being overly aggressive with Purdue and let the Boilermakers come to them. When that happened, the Tigers did, what Tigers do; pounced. Memphis moves on to the Final 4.

The Quarter-Finals in the East have the Oklahoma State Cowboys versus the Duke Blue Devils. Oklahoma State coming off an impressive dual of Cowboys and Indians against Florida State, while Duke has been impressing the competition with devilish (ha get it?) strategies and continues to impress upon the opposition that they are a force to be reckoned with, taking in another victory.

The last Quarter-Final match-up sees the Arizona State Sun Devils face off with the LSU Tigers in an old fashioned scuffle straight out of the jungle. While LSU has upended their opponents en route to the Elite 8, the Sun Devils easy path to the Final Four continues and they make quick work of the Tigers in unimpressive fashion.

With the Elite 8 now complete, our Final Four Match-ups are the Michigan State Spartans vs Memphis Tigers and Duke Blue Devils vs Arizona State Sun Devils

The National Semi-Final kicks off with a bang having Devils vs Devils, Duke and Arizona State. Both having tremendous tournaments, it was up in the air as to who would come out victorious, until the sun went behind a few clouds and the Sun Devils were left powerless to stop the Blue Devils from overpowering and ultimately defeating them. The Duke Blue Devils in the Finals.

The Michigan State Spartans and the Memphis Tigers square off in the final Semi-Final game for the chance to fight for the National Championship of the Mascot Melee. This seemed more like a first round contest than a Final Four Fracas. In a display of sheer skill, the Spartans move on to face the Duke Blue Devils in the National Championship contest, with everything on the line. Congratulations to the Memphis Tigers on an impressive season, just one year after narrowly missing out on the National Championship, to make it to back to back Final Four's is something to be commended.

National Championship Contest of the Mascot Melee: Michigan State vs Duke:

In the Finals of the Tournament of 65: Mascot Melee, it's the Brawl For it All, the Dual to the Death, the Mascot Mayhem on Monday, I could go on, but you get the picture. This is what it all comes down to. These are where winners are created, legends are born and the men are separated from the babies. The Spartans and Blue Devils meet at center-court with looks of determination in their eyes (although the Dukies have red eyes), the Blue Devils get off to a quick start and have the Spartans on the brink of elimination. But, following the advice from King Leonidas in 300 "Spartans never retreat, Spartans never surrender", the Michigan State squad reached down to the very depths of their souls and cast the Blue Devils back to hell (or North Carolina, whichever way you want to look at it) and reigned supreme as the last team remaining.

2009 NCAA Tournament of 65: Mascot Melee Champions Michigan State Spartans!

So, there you have it. The first annual Mascot Melee is complete and the Michigan State Spartans stand tall as your champion. How did we get to this point? How did 65 end up as 1?

Let's break down the teams by the numbers:

14: Teams that are just regular people like you and me (Tar Heels, Orange, Sooners, Musketeers, Boilermakers, Mountaineers, Volunteers, Hilltoppers, Lumberjacks, Colonials, Matadors, Buccaneers, Highlanders, Cowboys)

10: Teams that are named after Cats (Pittsburgh, Memphis, Missouri, LSU, Clemson, Michigan, Northern Iowa, Arizona, Villanova, BYU)

9: Teams that are named after Birds (Louisville, Kansas, Marquette, American, Morehead State, Chatanooga, Temple, Dayton, Boston College)

5: Teams named after Dogs: (Uconn, Washington, Gonzaga, Mississippi State, Butler)

4: Teams named after Bears: (California, Binghamton, Morgan State, UCLA)

3: Teams named after Indian Tribes: (Utes, Seminoles, Fighting Illini)

3: Teams with Demonic Forces (Duke, Arizona State, Wake Forest)

3: Teams named after Large Cattle: (Longhorns, Bison, Rams)

3: Teams with stupid names that nobody understands: (We're looking at you Akron Zips, Ohio State Buckeyes and Cornell Big Red)

2: Teams named after Vikings: (Cleveland State, Portland State)

2: Teams named after Agriculturists: (Texas A&M, Utah State)

2: Teams named after Small Animals: (Golden Gophers, Badgers)

1: Teams named for Reptiles: (Terrapins)

1: Teams named for Insects: (Hornets)

1: Teams Fighting the Good Fight: (Saints)

1: Teams named after Greek Mythology: (Trojans)

Do the math. 65 teams minus the aforementioned 64 leaves us with the number 1:

Michigan State Spartans

You heard it here first, Michigan State will face Duke in the finals. That should make Dick Vitale and Jay Bilas extremely happy, since they sip the Mike Krzyzewski kool-aid a little too much. But, if none of this happens and all of my whacky predictions based on who's mascot would win in a fight to the death seem like the incoherent ranting of someone who has too much time on his hands, well then with one little click of the button, I delete this, and it never happened. No proof.

Either way, whether it happens or not, the next three weeks are the most entertaining of the Year. This is a time where stars are born, memorable moments are made and anybody can win (except you Radford, Akron and Chattanooga, you still suck, sorry). Do you hear it? The madness of March is upon us.

Until next time...

The Sweet 16

We're down to 16 teams in the Mascot Melee. So far we've lost 3 of our #1 seeds and the top seed in the tournament is in for the fight of their lives. Let's get started.

MIDWEST REGION

Our top seed Louisville Cardinals have finally met their end. They danced with hornets and nested in some buckeyes, but their story ends here against the Demon Deacons of Wake Forest. These are some bad individuals, the rest of the bracket better watch out.

The Cinderella Story of the North Dakota State Bison has come to its conclusion. If there was anybody in this tournament who could slay the gigantic bison, it is the Spartans of Michigan State. They slaughter the Bison of North Dakota State with relative ease, which sets up the dream scenario in the Elite 8. Spartans against Demon Deacons. Rest up Michigan State. I quote King Leonidas again when he said "Spartans, ready your breakfast and eat healthy. For tonight, we dine in hell"...Good luck, you'll need it.

WEST REGION

#8 seed BYU Cougars and the #5 seed Purdue Boilermakers are set to face off in the sweet 16 and before the Cougars could even ready for an attack, the crafty Boilermakers welded the Cougars mouth shut. Purdue moves onto the Elite 8.

Tiger vs Tiger. Memphis vs Missouri. It'd be an entire toss up as to who would win, but a good defense is a strong offense and the Memphis Tigers played the waiting game and let Missouri come to them. Their ploy worked perfectly and they narrowly defeated the Tigers aggressive offensive onslaught and escaped in a nail biter.

EAST REGION

An old school match-up of Cowboys vs Indians starts off the Eastern Regions Semi-final as the Oklahoma State Cowboys take on the Florida State Seminoles. No smoke screens necessary, the Cowboys show that technology does pay off and the Indians were no match for the Cowboys superior offensive capabilities.

Wildcats and Blue Devils in an absolute barrage of agony. But, like previous times before, it's the luck of the draw. The Villanova Wildcats at the #3 seed were certainly a favorite to go far in this tournament, but they were matched up with the #2 Duke Blue Devils and they were just better on this day. The Blue Devils are Elite.

SOUTH REGION

The #8 Seed LSU Tigers are certainly impressing over the first two rounds of the Mascot Melee and have the perfect match-up with the Gonzaga Bulldogs. The Bulldogs put up quite a fight, but it was too little, too late, they were unable to muster up enough courage to overcome the Tigers out of Louisiana.

It looks like the luck has run out for the perennial under dog #15 seed Morgan State Bears. Facing off with the Sun Devils of Arizona State, it ends quickly and painfully for the bears.

STAY TUNED FOR THE ELITE 8 OF THE MASCOT MELEE

Who Wins in the Round of 32?

And we are back, are you still awake? It was surely an interesting first round in our NCAA Mascot Melee to determine the National Champion. Let's get right into the round of 32 starting off with the Midwest Region.

MIDWEST REGION

Kicking things off in the second we have our #1 seeded Louisville Cardinals taking on the Ohio State Buckeyes. If you remember, the Buckeyes won in the first round by default, thanks to the Saints failure to show. Things are different in this round, since I've learned that a "Buckeye" is a type of tree. We all know birds like to nest. And that's exactly what these Cardinals will do to the Buckeyes. Louisville continues on.

The Midwest region's Utah Ute's line up to face the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. I know the Ute's are an indigenous and illustrious people out in Northern Utah, but there's no tribal dance you can do to quell the onslaught of a Demon Deacon. Wake Forest in a beating.

It seems like our Mountaineers from West Virginia have finally met their match against the North Dakota State Bison. Our group of beefy bison are seemingly coming out of nowhere to put the pressure on opposing forces. North Dakota State crushes the Mountaineers into a cloud of dust.

This is a fight I would pay big money to see. In the final face off of the 2nd round in the Midwest region the 10th seed USC Trojans going up against the 2 seed Michigan Spartans. It's a battle made for pay per view and biblical references. But, like King Leonidas said in the movie 300 "Spartans, prepare for glory". You guys are moving on. Sorry USC, hope you get a better draw next year.

WEST REGION

The UCONN Huskies are looking like they're our first top seed to be eliminated from the Mascot Melee as they get the bad luck of having to face the BYU Cougars in the 2nd round. The Huskies put up a valiant fight, but to no avail. The Cougars had the sharper claws.

And in a matter of seconds, the Mascot Melee loses both pairs of Huskies in the West Region as the Boilermakers from Purdue were just too much for those resilient Huskies of Washington to withstand. It must be that heavy duty metal helmet they have on and the blow torch. Tough break for Washington.

Utah State, the one set of Aggies who were able to prolong their life long enough to get past the Golden Eagles of Marquette in the first round, won't see much daylight in the round of 32 as they are matched up against the 3rd seed Missouri Tigers. Like Montecore did to Roy Horn, these tigers go right for the throat.

Another set of Tigers, this time from Memphis are set to match up with the Golden Bears from California. It would seem like this would be an even fight with a Tigers ferocious behavior complimenting the sheer size and strength of the Bear. But, since California is the Land of Milk and Honey, the Golden Bear felt like he was Winnie the Pooh and over-indulged himself and got stuck in a tree. Memphis is the last of the West region to moves o to the round of 16, albeit virtually unscathed.

EAST REGION

The Pittsburgh Panthers become our 2nd #1 seed to fall at the hands of an opposing mascot. Much like the Huskies of Connecticut, the Panthers fall victim to an opponent who stood in the #8 seeded spot. This time, however, the assailant isn't a Cougar, but a Cowboy. The Oklahoma State Cowboys come out of the gates firing (quite literally mind you) and stop the Panthers dead in their tracks.

#5 seed Florida State Seminoles are set to take on the Xavier Musketeers. While it would seem like the Seminoles would have trouble going up against the weaponry that Xavier possesses, these Native Americans were intelligent enough to realize they should attack when Xavier was loading their muskets. Florida State lives to see the sweet 16.

#6 seed UCLA Bruins facing off against the #3 seed Villanova Wildcats. This is a match-up where legends are made. In this instance however, the Wildcats reign supreme and use their speed and agility to dodge the mounting attacks from the Bruins.

Sorry is in order for all Texas Longhorn fans. Looks like "Hook 'em horns" is going to need to wait another year to see if they can tear down the nets at the Mascot Melee, because the 2 seeded Blue Devils out of Durham, North Carolina make quick work of them. Looks like the Blue Devils have come to fight.

SOUTH REGION

And we meet again North Carolina Tar Heels. You were lucky to face the Radford Highlanders in round 1, but things are looking mighty different for round 2, aren't they? Standing across from you are the LSU Tigers, with a look of determination in their eyes. You can stand there like you have tar stuck to your feet (that's what a Tar Heel is, stupid, right?), but it's all for naught. LSU prevails to the sweet 16.

The 4th seed Gonzaga Bulldogs prevail in a hotly debated contest with the Illinois Fighting Illini. It was hotly debated because Illinois stood around discussing what exactly a "fighting illini" really was. In the ensuing conversation, the bulldogs bit the ankles of Illinois until they were defeated and embarrassed.

The Arizona State Sun Devils and the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks square off in the 2nd round and from the looks of things, these Devils came for a fight today too, making quick work of these lumberjacks. Sorry Stephen F. Austin faithful, looks like it's back to the wilderness for you.

The surprising run of the 15th seeded Morgan State Bears looks to continue as they take on the Michigan Wolverines. There wasn't even a fight. I heard back from the Big Ten, and they turned down my Wolverine idea and told me to stop calling or they'd alert the authorities, so maybe next year I'll have them hear me out.

THIS CONCLUDES THE ROUND OF 32

Who Wins in the Round of 64?

With the opening round game of the NCAA tournament starting tonight, I figured what better time to come back from my two week hiatus than to talk about who's going to win. I'm not just talking about who's going to win the National Championship, I mean who's going to win every single game that's played.

Now, I know you're sitting there (all three of you) and you're thinking to yourself, "why in the hell would I want to hear some statistical drone about who's going to win every game?" Well no need to worry. I don't care about a team's seeding (sorry Louisville, Uconn, Pittsburgh and North Carolina) I don't care how many points per game they score (Apologies North Carolina and your 91 points per game with Ty Lawson in the lineup) or who has the best defense in the country (No offense, Memphis), the way we're going to settle the debate of "Who's gonna win it all", is the old fashioned way: Which Team Mascot would win in a fight.

So tell Dick Vitale, Digger Phelps and Jay Bilas to save all their statistics and analysis for College Gameday, I don't care who runs a better half court offense, or who plays better against the zone. All I care about is the Team's name. So apologies in advance going out to the Akron Zips, Radford Highlanders and the Chattanooga Mocs, unless you're playing the Columbia College Fighting Koala's, I don't see you going that far in my "Tournament of 65: Mascot Melee."

To make everyone's life easier and save this entry from being 20 pages long, I'll break this up into 5 entries, one for each round, separated by region. Any questions? Any complaints? Still with me? If so, god bless you.

Without further ado, let's start the "Tournament of 65: Mascot Melee" in the Midwest region with the opening round game of the tournament.

MIDWEST REGION

The Mascot Melee kicks off with the Alabama State Hornets taking on the Morehead State Eagles for the right to play the #1 overall seed Louisville Cardinals. It would make sense to favor the mighty Eagles out of Morehead, Kentucky, just based on their size compared to a miniscule hornet, but you aren't thinking rationally. These hornets will swarm and they will attack in large numbers, which, I'm sorry to say, makes the Eagle a species even more endangered, because they're losing this fight. Although, it is too bad that the hornets of Alabama State (are there really that many bees in Alabama?) needed so many in order to take out the Eagles, because they don't have the numbers any longer to conquer the Cardinals of Louisville. If a bee didn't die after losing its stinger, I'd give them a puncher's chance, but, it was a suicide mission for the Alabama State Hornets just to make it into the tournament, I see the Cardinals moving on.

The 8 vs 9 game will see the Ohio State Buckeyes take on the Siena Saints. Now, if I've learned one thing in my life, is that God doesn't like gambling, so, the Saints aren't even going to bother showing up for this one out of respect to the Lord. Congratulations Ohio State, you move on by default.

An interesting match-up occurs in the 5 and 12 game in the Midwest, seeing the Arizona Wildcats take on the Utah Utes. I know you're thinking to yourself "What's a Ute?" and no, it isn't Joe Pesci's way of saying "youth" in My Cousin Vinny. The Utah Ute's are Native American's and frankly, they have bow's and arrow's, so I don't care how ferocious a Wildcat from Arizona could be (frankly, I think it'd be dehydrated from the humidity), I see the Ute's coming out on top.

The Cleveland State Vikings taking on the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. Do I even have to tell you how this fight goes? The only Vikings I know are in Minnesota and you don't go against a team with Demon in their title. Wake Forest wins.

West Virginia Mountaineers versus the Dayton Flyers. Anybody who willingly climbs a mountain for sheer excitement who isn't a sherpa from Nepal gets my vote for crazy idiot of the year, so the Mountaineers make quick work of the Flyers. What is a flyer anyway? West Virginia moves on.

In our first upset of the Mascot Melee, the North Dakota State Bison will beat the Kansas Jayhawks. It doesn't matter how big a beak that bird has, who do you think can stop an animal that weighs a ton? Literally, Bison way 1 metric ton. Look it up. North Dakota State sees round 2.

The Boston College Eagles taking on the USC Trojans in our match-up of the 7 and 10 seeds in the Midwest region. As we've stated before, the Eagle is an endangered species and I see the Trojans making them nearly extinct. No contest, USC wins.

The final contest of the first round in the Midwest region sees the Michigan State Spartan's take on the Robert Morris Colonials. Could this be any more unfair for the Colonials? Your school is named after Robert Morris, a financer of the Revolutionary War and signer of the Declaration of Independence....Your mascot "RoMo", is a guy dressed up like him. And you actually think there's a chance they can beat the mighty Spartans? Right. There's a better chance of George W. Bush learning to annunciate.

WEST REGION

The first match-up of the West Region sees the Connecticut Huskies taking on the Chattanooga Mocs. What's a Moc you ask? Well, after some research, that's short for Mockingbirds. Yes, really, mockingbirds. I won't even dignify this with a response. You know who's winning. Next.

The BYU Cougars in a scuffle with the Texas A&M Aggies and their loyal Collie Reveille. Sorry A&M fans, all you agriculturists can hope for better times to come, the Cougar's are coming out on top.

The 5 and 12 contest out West will see the Purdue Boilermakers take on the Northern Iowa Panthers. Did you know there are Panthers in Northern Iowa? Neither did I. That's because there aren't. They were all talk and no follow through. The team of trained craftsman moves on to the next round by forfeit.

In a literal dog fight we have the Washington Huskies tangling with the Mississippi State Bulldogs. I know they say it's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog, but sorry to any Mississippi State loyalists, but you have too low a center of gravity to knock these big dogs down.

The 3 vs 14 game has the Missouri Tigers taking on the Cornell Big Red. Alright, really, Cornell is an Ivy League institution and the best you can come up with is "Big Red"? So I'm lead to believe that a pack of gum is going to take down a Tiger? Am I a few games away from picking the Jacksonville State Juicy Fruit to beat a Cheetah? Not happening in this lifetime. Missouri chews them up and spits them out.

California Golden Bears - Maryland Terrapins. Interesting game here (not really). Did you know that a terrapin bares a striking resemblance to a sea turtle? Neither did I until about 45 seconds ago. There's no hiding in your shell for these terrapins, the Golden Bears from the Land of Milk and Honey will take care of them easily.

In our final hotly contested game of the Western Region, we will see the Memphis Tigers take on the Cal State Northridge Matadors. If they were the Memphis Bulls, I'd be leaning heavily towards the Matadors to come out victorious. But, these are the Tigers and I don't see how any Matador can tame that beast.

EAST REGION

The East region is kicked off with a match-up of the Pittsburgh Panthers and the poor East Tennessee State Buccaneers. While a Buccaneer focuses their attack largely on surprise and speed, there's nothing these poor little peg-legged Pirates can do to stop a Panther from rendering them lifeless. Pittsburgh advances.

The 8 and 9 game sees the Oklahoma State Cowboys line up with the Tennessee Volunteers. I don't think Tennessee Volunteered for a game like that. Oklahoma State in an easy one.

Florida State and Wisconsin. The Seminoles and the Badgers. Don't hold me to this, but I think these particular Native Americans ate Badger. If they didn't, they do now. No chance. Florida State moves forward.

The 4th seeded Xavier Musketeers against the 13th seed Portland State Vikings. Both of them are skilled fighters, but Xavier has the weapons and expertise. Xavier in a close one.

The 6 seeded UCLA Bruins taking on the Virginia Commonwealth Rams? On name alone this looks like it would be a close dual, but I don't see how a male sheep is going to take down a bear. Sorry residents of Virginia.

Villanova Wildcats and American University Eagles. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Eagles are endangered, bordering on extinction and these particular Wildcats are excessively violent. Victory for 'Nova.

"Hook 'em horns" is the motto of the Texas Longhorns and I see them doing just that against the Minnesota Golden Gophers. I don't see any Caddyshack type behavior from these gophers, so the Longhorns move on without much of a fight.

In the final match-up of the Eastern Region, we see the Duke Blue Devils and the Binghamton Bears. The Bears would be a good bet to defeat nearly any team in this field, except the one they're matched up against. I don't see how anybody can take a bear in a fight to the death against any form of devil, let alone a Blue Devil. Duke lives to see another day.

SOUTH REGION

The South (and final) region kicks off with the University of North Carolina Tar Heels taking on the Radford Highlanders. That name sound familiar? I mentioned that awhile back, they were one of the faithful three that I said stood no chance unless they were playing the Columbia College Koala's. And while that may be true, you are lucky North Carolina. You are very lucky. Against any other team you would've gone down in a heap, but nobody knows what a highlander is, so you get the pass...for now.

Here we are again with another team using the "Tiger" moniker and this time it's LSU facing off with the Butler Bulldogs. Like our previous contests involving Tigers, I see this one ending up much of the same. Tigers win, Tigers win. (too bad Detroit baseball fans can't hear that too often anymore)

The 12 and 5 game down South sees the Illinois Fighting Illini up against the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. At first glance, I was ready to call this a victory for Western Kentucky, knowing that a Hilltopper is a name given to horses used in fox hunting, but, in their case, it isn't. They are "Hilltoppers" because their university sits atop a big hill. So because you've made me annoyed at that ridiculous notion, you are losing. You are not losing close. You are losing big. The fighting Illini are treating you like you were Rodney King Circa 1991.

The Gonzaga Bulldogs are lucky enough to be facing off with the final member of our three team group of "Those Who have Stupid Names which mean nothing"....Welcome the Akron Zips. Your team is named after a pair of rubber overshoes. I wish I was making that up. Your mascot is a giant Kangaroo and your located in Ohio. Just stop already. You're out of the tournament just for being stupid. Gonzaga moves on.

Sparky Sun Devil, possibly the most un-intimidating name you could give to a demonic mascot roots on his Arizona State Sun Devils as they face off with the Temple Owls. I don't care how awful a name like "Sparky" is, I'm taking the Devil with a pitchfork in a fight with an Owl every day of the week.

The 3rd Seed Syracuse Orange taking on the 14 seed Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks. Syracuse, your mascot is a giant Orange named Otto and you're facing a team of burly lumberjacks, probably with axes. Better lucky next year 'Cuse. You're out.

Now this is a fight I want to see. A Tiger versus a Wolverine. I know the Tigers have won a lot in the past, but this time I'm giving it to the Wolverine. I can't go against the X-Men. If they were the Clemson Cyclops, maybe, just maybe, I'd give them the nod. But, Wolverine wins hands down. Oh wait, you're telling me Michigan doesn't even have a mascot? They're the Michigan Wolverines and could have a ferocious animal leading them to victory and they choose not to have a mascot? Hmm, they should lose by forfeit, but, I liked my idea of the X-Men character being their mascot, so they will win. I'm calling the Big Ten and seeing if I can get the gig in time for Thursday's game...

The final battle in the first round will see the Oklahoma Sooners take on the Morgan State Bears. Sorry Oklahoma fans, your whole "Boomer Sooner" mantra has grown stale. Your mascot is Sooner Schooner, a giant Conestoga wagon being pulled by two ponies named "Booner" and "Sooner"...Alright, I'm not going to be mean or hurtful, but you aren't making the second round in the Mascot Melee. Sorry.

Thus concludes the Round of 64...Stay tuned for the Round of 32

Where do we go from here?

So, as I'm sure most of you know (probably because I've complained about it to you), at around midnight this morning, the Cowboys (against my wishes, way to not even consult with me), decided to part ways with Terrell Owens. If, you read the blog beneath this, you'll see that I must have been born a prophet, because I wrote at length about how much trouble the Cowboys would find themselves in if we parted ways with him.

I tried writing about this topic early this morning, right after the reports were released of the Cowboys cutting Terrell, but all I could get down on paper was the longest list of expletives you would have ever seen. And well, this is a family blog, we keep it PG-13 (at least until the Yankees first 4 game losing streak) and I just wouldn't resort to that avenue.

Since it's been nearly 24 hours and cooler heads are starting to prevail, I pose a question to myself, as well as anybody else who reads this (Probably nobody, so really it's to myself I guess), where do the Cowboys go from here?

You just cannot replace a guaranteed 70 receptions, 1,000 yards receiving and 10 or 11 touchdowns a year internally. I'm sorry, but there's nobody on the Cowboys at this moment in time that can replace him. It just won't happen. And if Jerry Jones honestly thinks that the Cowboys can skate by and win without his presence in the locker room, that's fine, but you can't win without him on the field. He'd be senile and in need of being replaced or taken out back and given the Old Yeller treatment if he honestly thinks our pu pu platter of receivers is good enough to strike fear in the heart of opposing defenses.

Roy Williams, Patrick Crayton, Isaiah Stanback and Travis Wilson; those are the names of our wide receivers now. If you just thought to yourself "who are those last two guys?" Well, you're not alone because I don't think their own families would be able to pick them out of a crowd of people.

Roy Williams, our new #1 receiver, has caught a measley 281 passes in his career. The Cowboys gave up 3 draft picks to acquire him last season and in nearly 3/4 of a season, he only mustered up 19 catches. Thanks for the contribution Roy!

Patrick Crayton, or "Stone Hands" as I refer to him thanks to his HUGE dropped pass in the 3rd Quarter of the Dallas Cowboys - New York Giants Divisional Playoff game, is now our #2 receiver? Excuse me while I bang my head into the keyboard repeatedly.

159 career receptions and 18 touchdowns for Stone Hands. I like to think of him as everything that a receiver shouldn't be. He can't block in the run game, even remotely. And he couldn't catch a cold if he tried, let alone a pass when there's no defender within 5 yards.

And our last two receivers aren't even worthy of separate paragraphs. Travis Wilson and Isaiah Stanback have combined in their careers to have a whopping 4, yes, 4 receptions and 56 yards! YOUR DALLAS COWBOY WIDE RECEIVERS LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!!!!

They aren't going to get the job done. No way, no how. Somebody needs to be brought in to help the depleted receiver position and to keep Jason Witten sane since he'll be seeing double coverage and hell triple coverage since we have no offensive weapon now. The first names that came to my mind were Anquan Boldin and Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson. That's entirely wishful thinking on my and every other Cowboy fans part, since we gave three draft picks to the Detroit Lions (including our first round pick this season) to get Roy Williams. In hindsight, it'd be really nice to have that first round pick, because Percy Harvin or Hakeem Nicks would make me feel a little better about life.

Obviously, they will need to sign somebody then. But, having done this too late, they missed out on going after T.J. Houshmanzadeh. And after him, the free agent receiving corps really takes a turn for the worse. The best possibilities you ask? Those would be D.J. Hackett, Lance Moore, Mark Clayton, Bobby Engram and Shaun McDonald....I swear, I think they were once a boy band in a past life.

So, that brings us to this quandry. Marvin Harrison? Now that's a tough choice. Granted, he would fit in, just for his criminal record (he has shot people folks), but, he's 35 years old, the same age as Terrell Owens. While he does boast career stats of 1,102 receptions, 14,580 yards and 128 touchdowns, his best years are far far far behind him. He hadn't been the #1 option in Indianapolis for at least three years and I think I run quicker when I see a spider than he does with an open field in single coverage.

Which brings me to who I would love the Cowboys to be able to snag. Torry Holt, the Rams star receiver. Word has been spreading that Holt wants his release in St. Louis and they are likely to grant it in the coming weeks. He is exactly the type of player the Cowboys could use. He's beneficial in a few ways. First, he's one of the all around great guys in the NFL and would be a fixture in the locker room (which is apparently really important to Jerry Jones) and secondly, he's a big game, go to receiver. Granted he is 32 years old (still three years younger than Owens or Harrison) and his best days are beginning to be behind him as well, but he's still got a little giddy up in his step and I think could do great things in Big D.

And obviously, since I am writing about my hopes that we get Torry Holt, it will have the adverse effect. I wrote about how the Yankees needed Manny Ramirez and within 4 days, he re-signed with the Dodgers. I wrote about how the Cowboys needed to keep Terrell Owens more than anything and within 12 hours we released him.

This means one of two things. Either the Cowboys won't sign anybody and throw Roy Williams to the fire and expect him to suddenly channel his innermost talent and be the #1 receiver he NEVER WAS in Detroit. Or, we'll sign one of the boy band members of the free agent market.

With that being said, let me just get this out of the way: Welcome to the Dallas Cowboys Shaun McDonald. Weren't you a member of the Doobie Brothers? Wait, you're saying that was Michael McDonald? Is there even a difference at this point? Why don't we just sign him to play receiver and Christopher Cross to play linebacker. That's what the Cowboys are turning into now; one big joke.

Until next time...