What I've learned...

I was talking to a friend last night and she was joking around with me saying that sports will always come before her in my life. But, that notion got me to thinking. Exactly how much of my life do I dedicate to sports; whether it be watching them, reading about them, or engraining myself with the very thought of discussing them?

Do I really put a game before my family and relationships with friends? The answer, disappointingly, is yes. Many times in the past I have broken off an evening with friends so I could sit back and watch a baseball game. I can't begin to tell you the times family members have tried to have a conversation with me, only to be spurned with remarks of "not now, I'm trying to watch this" or "do you have to talk to me while this is on?"

I don't know when it happened that sports became the main focal point of my existence, but, over the course of the past few years, with the decisions and mistakes I've made in life, the game has somehow moved to the forefront of who I am. I'm not trying to make excuses for my actions or use my blog as a forum to dodge the fact that somewhere along the way, I've allowed myself at times to be a poor friend, I'm merely trying to turn a negative flaw I've found in myself into a positive learning experience.

Over the course of time, through all the failed relationships, fights with friends, good days and bad nights, I've found myself turning to sports. The game has always been the one positive I can find through the layers of negativity I bring about in my life. Some people turn to alcohol, others turn to drugs, I turn to ESPN. It never mattered to me what sport it was, whether it be baseball, football, or even soccer.

If I'm having a bad day, I just have to turn a game on. Then, for 9 innings or 4 quarters, I let myself escape. For those 3 hours, I have no problems or concerns; it's just me and the game. It's the avenue I take to escape all of the little stressors that way us down as individuals.

I know I'm not the only one who turns to sports as a way of escaping. Athletes have been known to do it as well. The best example I can think of is Brett Favre. On December 22, 2003, the day after his father died, Brett decided to play on Monday Night Football against the Raiders. Despite his grief, for those 3 hours, Brett played. And he was magnificent, throwing for 399 yards and 4 touchdowns.

I know what little annoyances I face in my life are nowhere near the magnitude of the pain and hurt that Bret felt on that day, but, it makes me feel a little better knowing that I'm not alone. I guess that's why I love sports so much. It provides me an avenue to escape the reality of most situations and lose myself in the game. The worries of every day life cease to exist for a little while. Suddenly getting that crucial first down becomes your biggest concern and you forget about all your problems.

It's probably why I've found myself turning the games on more lately and tuning other people out. Whether it's an old friend trying to grab a drink to catch up, or a family member just asking
me how my day was, I haven't let myself be bothered. I've turned a blind eye to those that have my best interests at heart and only wish to see me happy, yet still continue to support me, because I've concerned myself too much with trying to escape.

My friend was right. I have put sports ahead of friends and family; and at times, even my own self. That's not the way it should be. I love sports, don't get me wrong, but it's a mistake to think that I can block everything else in my life, good or bad, out, just to let myself escape from my problems. It's not the way anyone should handle things or live their life. Sports will always be a major part of my life, but I'm not going to let it consume who I am any longer. It's about time I get my priorities straight and realize what's important.

Working in sports is something that I've always dreamt of doing. It's a goal that I set for myself to accomplish one day. It's still a dream I hope to achieve and one I will do anything in order to fulfill. I don't know if I'll ever reach that day in my lifetime, but I know that I'll always have the unwavering support of friends and family as I strive to make my dreams a reality.

It is because of that support that I'm able to admit my faults and can say I'm sorry. So, I'm sorry to those friends that I've blown off to catch a game, or the family members I've ignored because I couldn't be bothered for 2 minutes. I'm sorry that I haven't been there 100% and have allowed myself to get wrapped up in escaping the realities of every situation. I'm sorry to you all that I've ever forced to take a backseat in my life to a sporting event. I need to remember that sports are what I love, not who I am. They should not define the type of person I am, or the type of life I lead.

I hope that no one else makes the same errors in judgment that I have made in the past. Spend time with the one's you love and finish the conversations you start. The game will always be there tomorrow. As I said before, I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm simply trying to use this as a learning experience. Learn from my experience.

Until next time...