Another Bout of Spur of the Moment Creativity...

With the Yankees and Red Sox starting a 3 game series Tuesday evening in Boston, I felt the need to take another slight jab at their most famed player, David Ortiz. You may remember last week that I wrote a piece on Ortiz, saying in the most subtle way that he's done, it's over, throw the towel in on his career. Well, as of this writing, Ortiz is still batting a woeful .197 with just 2 home runs and 22 runs batted in. I should point out he's now got as many home runs as Milwaukee Brewer's pitcher Yovani Gallardo and fewer runs batted in than Mark Teixeira had in two weeks last month. (Granted, I should point out the little Gnome and reigning American League Most Valuable player Dustin Pedroia only has 2 home runs and 23 runs batted in too...)

Now although the Yankees haven't beaten the Red Sox in 5 attempts yet this season, we are still in first place, albeit by the slimmest of margins. And although this will probably work as a reverse jinx on ressurect the career of David Ortiz and force me to eat crow for every negative word I've written about him, I'm continuing on with this anyway...

In 1987, the band Europe came out with a hit single (no, it's not the Final Countdown...to Daivd Ortiz's career...hahaha get it?)...It was a power ballad called "Carrie" about the end of a relationship. Well, I'm now taking it upon myself to present to you "Papi", a song written for David "Big Papi" Ortiz, from the perspective of Red Sox manager Terry Francona.

(Editors Note: This song is being dedicated to every member of Red Sox Nation)

Sung to the tune of "Carrie" by Europe:

Papi

When ball games start, I see no reason

For you to hit, think about this every day

In every game, all situations

I know you've tried

But please don't ask to play

Can't you see it in your swing

Though this might be your last at bat

Papi

Papi

Your talents gone my friend

Woh ohh

Papi

Papi

Maybe you'll play again

Someday, in Japan

I see you play, with no confidence

In every at bat, I wish you'd sit on the bench

I've taken my time

And shown a lot of patience

You suck now, are you the black Kevin Mench?

Can't you see it in your swing

Though this might be your last at bat

Papi

Papi

Your talents gone my friend

Woh ohh

Papi

Papi

Maybe you'll play again

Someday, in Japan

Ohh

Can't you see it in your swing

Though this might be your last at bat

(ohh ho ho)

Ohh

Papi

Papi

Ohh, your talents gone my friend

Papi, Papi, Papi

(Ohh ho ho)

Papi

Papi

Maybe you'll play again

Someday, in Japan

When ball games start